Engagement Customs and Traditions – What’s the Story?
Have you ever wondered what’s the story behind our engagement customs and traditions? You know the ones. The kind where the guy plans and prepares the whole event in the right setting while the sun sits just right. He makes sure to cross his t’s and dot his lowercase j’s all-in hope of creating a story book scenario where he pops the question and she says yes as gleeful onlookers clap and cheer while a few witnesses even shed a tear. Yes, those traditions.
At Morgan’s Jewelers, we’ve heard from plenty of suitors over the years of how they’re preparing to pop the question. While it seems no two are really quite the same, each will have an element or two, or five of what is viewed as traditional or common elements of an engagement.
While there’s no wrong way to ask your partner’s hand in marriage – well, they may think of a few situations you may want to avoid – let’s take a closer look at the how and why we do what we do when we open that burgundy box containing a shimmering engagement ring all in the hopes she’ll say yes.
Asking for their hand
Just think of all the nervous nelly’s out there, who had beads of sweat on their brow and as they asked the question in a shaky, nervous voice. No, we’re not talking about the actual proposal here, we’re talking about the groom asking the bride-to-be’s father for his blessing before the actual proposal can take place. While it may seem like an old-fashioned custom, this is thought to go back to when marriages were more of a contract between two families versus a couple following their hearts. While times have changed, this is still a tradition for some.
Down on bended knee
When you’re out in public and you see one half of a couple bending down on one knee, admit it, you feel a flutter of excitement when you recognize this custom. Like you’re about to catch a glimpse of an emotional moment worthy of a Hallmark movie and a few sequels. Then again, his shoe could just be untied. Getting down on one knee is certainly part of the story of a lot of couples.
Where it comes from, well, many say it’s a tradition that dates back to medieval times. Think of knights paying respect to their lords. It was also a part of religious ceremonies. With the close tie between religion and marriage linked, it’s easy to make the connection of a partner proposing marriage on bended knee, pledging devotion and declaring love.
Planning the proposal
For some, this is where thought and creativity mix with custom and tradition. Many couples have come together with an engagement after a romantic dinner, on a picturesque stroll while the sun sets in the distance or in front of a significant structure – think of a water fountain or if you happen to be in France, under the Eiffel Tower. Traditionally, the proposal was kept secret by the guy, at least away from the ears of the soon-to-be-bride. He’d plan it out, ring in his pocket and when the time was right, he just may get down on one knee.
But today in our social media driven world, the custom of planning a proposal could take months to get all the gears in motion if you’re going for an over-the-top moment. Many proposals happen in public. Something about having onlookers that makes the moment more exciting for some couples. You may have a well-hidden photographer off in the distance documenting the event or an entire flash mob of dancers at the ready. Just make sure your partner likes that sort of attention before you commit to your big plans.
The Ring
You don’t need to be a brain surgeon to figure out it’s 99.9% likely to be a ring in that burgundy box when he pulls it out from his pocket. The tradition of an engagement ring goes back to Pope Innocent III who introduced a law in 1214 that couples had to observe a waiting period between agreeing to marry and going through with it. During this time, each partner had to wear a ring as a mark of their upcoming commitment. These weren’t the flashy rings we know of today because at that time precious metals were reserved for the elite members of society.
3 Months’ salary
You’ve heard of the 3-month salary rule when it comes to buying an engagement ring. How it crept into the lore and tradition of marriage proposals was a very clever marketing campaign by the DeBeers diamond sellers. In 1936, they created a demand for diamonds, giving them an aura of luxury and prestige. As a seller of jewelry, we never hold this tradition as a must – there’s the right ring out there for any budget and at Morgan’s Jewelers, we’ll help you find it. But you gotta admit, diamonds do look pretty spectacular.
Whether you’re planning your perfect proposal, waiting for a certain someone to ask or you’re just curious about the story behind certain engagement customs and traditions, we hope that shed a little light on the hows and whys of marriage proposals.
Let us help you create your own unique proposal story with one of our engagement rings at Morgan’s Jewelers. If you feel like letting us in on your little engagement secret while picking out the right ring, we may just have a tip or two from all the other stories we’ve heard. Either way, people seem to be happy we’re here to help.
Stop into Morgan’s Jewelers, you’ll be taken care of. Come see us at 77 East 3rd Street in Historic Downtown Winona, Minnesota. Let us give you that burgundy box that will make your moment extra special.
